


I Don't Wanna Be A Women You Love

by hoffkk



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 07:07:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4010524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoffkk/pseuds/hoffkk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver has returned from his duel with Ra's al Ghul ready to give his heart to Felicity, but is she still willing to accept it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Wanna Be A Women You Love

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this around season threes's mid-season hiatus. The "I don't wanna be woman you love" line was being teased and inspired me to write this fic. Hope you all like it! :)  
> I apologize for any errors, grammatical or otherwise.

Felicity was working late again. It had become routine since Oliver left and never came back. She stayed at the foundry until about midnight every night, scouring her computers, trying to find any answers she could about Oliver's whereabouts. Felicity hadn't found anything concrete yet.  
She was typing away, turquoise nails flying across the keyboard, when she heard the door open and footsteps padding down the foundry staircase.   
"Digg, you really don't need to keep checking up on me. I told you I'm fine." Felicity stated matter of factly, still facing her computers. Diggle would come in every couple of nights and keep her company. He would try to help, but he would just end up getting in the way. The only work to be done was on the computers, which wasn't exactly Diggle's forte. Not that Felicity would let him touch her babies anyway. As annoyed as she got though, Felicity knew that Digg was just trying to be a good friend, but so was she. Oliver had already spent five years in hell because people assumed he was dead and stopped looking for him. Felicity wasn't about to let that happen a second time.   
There had been a long minute of silence. Diggle hadn't responded. She huffed out a breath and turned in her chair to face her friend. "Seriously, Digg, I -" The sentence never got finished. A lump caught in her throat as she stared at the person standing across from her. "Oliver," she breathed.  
*****  
After losing the battle with Ra's and receiving help from an unlikely source, Oliver was back. Sitting inside a cab, he wasn't sure where to go. "Just drive," Oliver commanded the driver. He desperately wanted to see Thea. He had missed her like crazy over the past several weeks, but Oliver needed to think up a valid excuse for his absence before he saw her. His next thought was to go to Felicity's apartment. It was a stupid thought. It was late-almost midnight- and he wasn't exactly sure where he stood with her. Last time they had talked, Oliver said those three little words that had been plaguing his thoughts and weighing on his heart. He had said them, and he had meant them, but she didn't say them back...or anything back for that matter. Felicity had just stared at him.  
Oliver thought for another moment. For all he knew, Felicity was in a relationship with Ray now. He did see them kiss after all. It wasn't a pleasant sight either. If Oliver just showed up at her place late at night, who knows what else he could be walking in on. Oliver shook his head. This was crazy. His feelings for Felicity were different than anything he ever felt before with other girls, including Shado, Sara, and even Laurel. That much was obvious, but he was still confused. Oliver wanted to be with her, but he also knew that The Arrow didn't-couldn't- do relationships. With his night job, there was too much danger, too much uncertainty involved. Oliver felt torn.  
Between Thea and Felicity, Oliver had a lot to think about. He figured the best place to go and figure things out would be the foundry. Oliver instructed the Cabby to drop him off a block away, then he walked the rest. Being a little after midnight and two hours until closing time, Verdant was lively as ever. He blended into the crowds as he made his way around the back, sneaking down into the basement lair.  
Lost in thought, he didn't notice the light being already on as he made his way down the step. In fact, he didn't notice much of anything until a familiar female voice spoke. "Digg, you really don't need to keep checking up on me. I told you I'm fine."  
Oliver was at the bottom of the steps when he heard Felicity speak and smiled. Frozen in place for a moment he stared at her. Seeing the blonde ponytail and pink dress in front of him, he couldn't help but think I'm home. Eyes never leaving Felicity he crossed the room, heading towards her until he suddenly stopped. What do I do? What do I say? Maybe I should turn around...  
Before another thought entered his mind, Felicity spoke again. This time turning around in the process. Her eyes widened as she took in his presence and he took in hers. She was more beautiful than he remembered with her button nose, bright pink lips, and familiar black glasses. Oliver's chest tightened as he scanned over her face, taking in every delicate feature. When he was on the island, he had a photo of the woman he loved to serve as a reminder and to comfort him. This time he hadn't been so lucky. It took all his brain-power to form and keep a perfect image of the wonderful Felicity Megan Smoak.  
Felicity breathed out his name before flinging herself out of the chair and into his strong, masculine arms.  
*****  
Felicity could have hugged him for hours. Lord knows she wanted to. However, she managed to pull it together and rein in her feelings somewhat.   
"I am so glad you're alive," Felicity half whispered, savoring the warmth and feel of his hand on the small of her back before pulling away. Dropping her arms from around his neck, she stepped back. Suddenly, a million questions were running through her brain.  
"Oliver, what happened? Where were you? I spent every night down here trying to find you, but I couldn't...I'm sorry...I -"  
"Hey," he said softly, but firmly as he place his hand on her shoulder, "It's okay. I'm here. I'm fine."   
Felicity let out a breath and nodded, before Oliver continued. "I know you have a lot of questions, and will answer all of them....tomorrow. Right now, I think we should talk about something else...about what I said before I left.  
Her stomach dropped at his words. Felicity knew what was coming. He was going to take back what he said, he always did, but this time she decided to beat him to the punch. "No." Felicity said as she turned back to her computers.  
"No?" Oliver repeated quizzically, "You don't wanna talk about it?" If she needed time before that conversation, he could understand that, but they needed to talk about it at some point...and soon.  
Felicity was hitting some buttons, trying to shut down her computers when she answered, "No, you don't wanna talk about it. You just wanna take it back."  
"Felicity, that's not-" Oliver started, but Felicity interrupted him.  
"You know what? I am just going to save you the trouble." She affirmed before finishing her shutdown and turning to face him. Looking him in the eyes she calmly went on, "I reject your statement."  
"You what?" Oliver was at loss.  
"Your initial statement...from before you left...I reject it." She explained. "No harm, no foul." Felicity finished as she slipped on her purple coat.  
Realizing she was getting ready to leave, Oliver cut in, "I meant what I said, Felicity."  
"No." Felicity stated yet again. "You might think you meant it, but you didn't. Not really..."  
"Felicity-" Oliver began.  
Felicity felt the word vomit coming, but she didn't stop it. She was angry and needed let this out. "...cause if you really did mean it, and I mean if you truly, fully understood what those words meant, then you wouldn't use them like that. You wouldn't only use them in times of peril and death. You would use them in happy times too, granted those have been few and far between, but still..." Felicity was ready to ramble some more, but his next words stopped her.  
"Am I dying?" he asked.  
"What?" she replied, looking at him like he was crazy.  
"Right now. Am I dying?" Oliver asked again.  
"No, but..." Felicity answered.  
"Are we in peril?" He questioned, throwing her words back at her.  
"No..." Felicity was staring at his intense light blue eyes, waiting for his next response that she wasn't entirely sure she even wanted to hear.  
"Then believe me when I say that I love you." He begged, placing his palm against her cheek.  
His words were sweet, but Felicity wasn't convinced. "Maybe I don't wanna be a woman that you love." she said as she removed his hand.  
Oliver was suddenly speechless. What do you even say to that?  
Felicity elaborated, "The women you love get pushed away and lied to. So, if that is what being loved by Oliver Queen is like then... I think I'll pass." It pained her to say those words, but it was the truth; a truth she had been fighting with for a while. Felicity certainly cared about Oliver, heck, she was in love him. However, after weeks of thinking about him and their could-be relationship, she decided that Oliver wasn't ready to really love someone, that he didn't know how to. And she wasn't some free-trial or practice run he could use to figure things out. Oliver was already hesitant about their relationship as it was, Felicity couldn't handle it if they actually dated and he stayed that way; one foot in, one foot out; afraid and uncertain. She wanted to tell him that, but she didn't know how. She gave it her best try.  
Felicity was fighting back tears as she spoke, voice shaking. "I don't want you to break my heart, Oliver. My father did that a long time ago when he left us, and...and I can't take it happening again."  
"Hey," Oliver said, concern coating his voice as he stepped a little closer placing both hands on top of her shoulders. "I'm not your father. I would never ever hurt you, especially like that."  
Maybe not intentionally, she thought to herself as she studied his face. A light stubble covered his immaculate jaw line; she had to ball her hands into fists to keep from stroking it. His blue eyes sparkled under the fluorescent lighting, adding to the intensity of his stare. Oliver's intense, yet soft stare was one of her favorite things about him; it was uniquely Oliver.  
Suddenly, the moment seemed too much for Felicity. She wanted to move, but Oliver was still holding her shoulders, preventing her from backing away. Felicity decided to do the next best thing and break eye contact, studying her black heels instead of his baby blues.  
Oliver, realizing Felicity wasn't going to respond, knew he had to open up. He had to share a piece of himself, of his feelings, if he was going to convince her to give him-them- a shot. He moved his hands to the sides of her shoulders, stroking the front of her arms with his thumbs as he continued, "When I was dueling with Ra's al Ghul..." He paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully. He didn't want to go into too much detail; he would do that later when Diggle and Roy were around. Right now he was focused on making her understand."...there was a moment, when I thought I was going to die."  
Felicity really wanted to look at him then, but she wouldn't let herself. She keep her gaze on her feet as more tears began to pool in the corner of her eyes. It's okay, She told herself, He's clearly alive. It's okay.  
"...and in that moment," Oliver went on, "do you know what my last thought was?" Oliver grabbed her chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting her head upward, so he could look her in the eyes as he answered his own question. "You."  
Felicity's breath caught in her throat as she processed what he was saying. For once in her life she actually couldn't speak.  
"I thought about you, and us, and how great we could've been together. I know I pushed you away before, but that was a mistake....and now that I have been given another chance, I want to do things right. No more hesitating. I want this. I want you."  
The tears were falling freely now. How could she stop them after a confession like that?  
Oliver moved his hands once more, placing them both on her cheeks, using his thumbs to wipe away her tears. "I know I'm not perfect. I'll probably make mistakes, and I have a lot of baggage, but..." Oliver took a deep breath, "...I'm willing to try if you are."  
Felicity's heart exploded right then and there. The good kind of explosion like fireworks on the 4th of July. She grabbed onto his wrists that were on either side of her face and looked deep into his eyes before she spoke. "Oliver...perfection is overrated."  
With that, Oliver knew he had her. He smiled sweetly before, bringing his lips to hers. The kiss was filled with so much passion, so much love. It was truly amazing. Felicity filed it under the category of out of body experiences. It was that mind-blowing. Needless to say, she felt another good kind of explosion flow through her.  
They stood in silence for a moment, forehead to forehead, just holding each other catching their breaths. They had shifted positions so that Oliver's arms were now around her waist and Felicity's around his neck. She loved being so close, being able to feel his warmth encompass her was truly wonderful. Felicity never wanted to leave. Unfortunately, the day was catching up with her. It was nearing 12:30, and Felicity was tired. She found herself pressing her mouth towards her shoulder, trying to stifle a yawn.  
Oliver gave her a half smile before officially breaking the silence. "It's getting late, you should head home."  
Felicity let out a loud breath before reluctantly agreeing. "I guess so...what about you? You gonna head over to Thea's?  
"I'm just gonna stay here tonight. I need some time to think of a plausible excuse for my...um...absence." Oliver explained.  
"Right... telling her you were on a mission to kill the leader of the League of Assassins may set off a red flag. Or should I say green?" Felicity commented, quirking a brow.  
He chuckled softly, "So I'll see Thea in the morning... and you in the afternoon. For lunch?"  
Remembering tomorrow was Saturday, and she had the day off, Felicity smiled brightly. "I'd like that."  
"Good." He said before tucking a piece of hair that came loose behind her ear.  
"You know.." Felicity said, looking down for a moment , "I do have a couch. It's quite comfy."  
Oliver bit his lip before answering, "Tempting...but I should probably stay here." Part of him wanted to take her up on that offer, but that seemed like a big step for some reason, and he wanted to go slow. He didn't want to move too fast with Felicity. This relationship was going to be different. He wanted to take his time and cherish each moment with her. Their firsts were going to be special and happen at the appropriate time. If there was anything that Oliver would make sure of, it was that.  
"Probably," Felicity agreed. Offering her couch was a bold move for her. She didn't know what she would do if he would of actually accepted...freak out probably. Reluctantly, Felicity let go of Oliver and slung her purse over her shoulder. "So, see you tomorrow?"  
"Definitely." Oliver affirmed, giving her forearm a gentle squeeze. He then proceeded to slide his hand down her purple coat sleeve all the way down to her wrist where he grabbed her hand, threading their fingers together. "Let me walk you out?" Despite having her coat on, his light touch was powerful enough to give her goose bumps all the way down her arm. Boy did he have an effect on her.  
Felicity was a logical person, so to her it seemed silly for Oliver to come outside when he would just have to come right back in, and the walk to her car was fairly short, but nevertheless Felicity found herself saying, "Sure." Hey, who was she to deny this fine specimen such a simple request? Besides, the longer she got to be with Oliver, touching like this, the better.  
Oliver and Felicity walked hand-in-hand out of the foundry. Making more room on the stairs, he put his arm around Felicity's shoulders, which made things a bit awkward since it was the arm she was already holding onto. She couldn't help but smile. It was awkward, but a cute awkward; endearing even. They walked the rest of the way to her car like that, before he gave her a kiss on the cheek and helped her into the vehicle. Maybe next time she would fake car trouble and get a motor cycle ride home. She smiled at the thought as she pulled out into the night.   
Life can be funny sometimes. For a while now, Felicity had been telling herself that being loved by Oliver Queen was a bad idea. And now, after tonight, she couldn't think of anything more wonderful.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! Pretty Please! And do check out my other stories and or my tumblr profile: hoffkk. :)


End file.
